Middle Class Men
June 24th, 2009
radio
We are so worried about Alexander’s behaviour. His father even had to say, Alexander, can you stop doing that please. And we don’t like to speak harshly to him, like that, and undermine his confidence because it’s not as if he’s a girl. And I don’t think he’s disruptive, in a way that boys from the estate clearly are. Why, he’s just bored because he’s very bright. I don’t think you’re stretching him to reach his full potential and that’s the problem. I think he’s much brighter than the other children and that’s why he’s set fire to them.
The fact, of course, is that Alexander will do fine at school because he’s middle class. Get his GCSEs and his A levels, go to university and go on to do some bollocks job that he hates for the rest of his life. And his parents will be proud because he works indoors and earn a decent wage and they won’t notice that by the age of 25 he’s become corpulent, looks uncomfortable in casual clothes and socialises with men 30 years his senior and at lunch time he says, “Well stoked yeoman, shall we adjourn to our neighbouring hostelry and quaff some fine ale?” and “We work hard but we play hard” which means that by the time they get off work, it’s too late to go home, get changed and go out with real friends, so they just hit a wine bar with the guys from marketing who are “a bunch of absolute nutters” because one of them once did something that was slightly unexpected.
Their dreams go on a back burner. But eventually the back burner is full so their dreams go into the freezer never to be microwaved. And they liven up their working lives by changing the amount of hair gel they use.
– From Jeremy Hardy Speaks To The Nation “How To Be Young”
