High Table, Lower Orders
February 3rd, 2010
radio
Everything to love about Mark Taverner is in this show – Murder, insect specialists, claret drinkers, food lovers, pompous farts, wheezes, lazy old men, reunions with former girlfriend, pulling pants down to moon at authorities and rudeness. Especially the rudeness.
“Listen to this,”
“On the face of it…”
“Ugh.”
“What?”
“Unnecessary verbiage. What’s wrong with ‘outwardly’, or ’superficially’?”
“‘Superficially, this ancient seat of learning…’”
“No! No! No! What is this? A heroic attempt to win the world cliche record? Just ‘Cambridge’.”
“Superficially, Cambridge looks as it always has…”
[undertone] “…a bastion of privilege.”
“A bastion of privilege. Ugh! Shut up and listen!”
“But as the colleges prepare for their carol services…”
“Oh no! OH NO! Spare us in my mercy! Don’t tell me – ‘truly this is a bleak mid-winter for higher education’.”
“…truly this is a bleak mid-winter for higher education.”
“Tell me, what first attract you to a career in journalism?”
“Alright, so I’ve just got a bit rusty.”
“Rusty?”
“Go on then, you do it.”
“‘Superficially Cambridge looks the same’, colon. You know what one of those are, don’t you?”
“Ha ha.”
“‘Majestic dons make pronouncements of great brilliance and quaff clarets of great vintage.’”
“A bit OTT.”
“SSsssh!”
“‘The picture is forced. As colleges prepare for their carol services, the hymm they intone: Money don’t get everything it’s true; What it don’t get i can’t use; I want money.’ How’s that?”
“Bit flurry. Bit over-written”
